not ME - Monday!

Welcome to another MckMama inspired "Not Me! Monday"....

After last week's horrifically long Not Me! Monday, I am not glad to announce this week is fairly tame.

In wrapping up last week's, I do have one update: I did not end up at the Dr on Tuesday evening to find, my hand was indeed infected from a certain fall I may or may not have had the prior week that connected me with a rose bush.

While shopping on Friday, I did not leave my umbrella in the car - where it was totally useless in keeping a certain young man dry. Nope! Not Me! I'm waaaayyy more responsible as a mom than chance getting caught in a downpour while shopping at an outdoor mall. And if there were to have happened, my child would be waaayyy to dignified to cry out with glee and clap his hands as the rain was sneaking under the hood of his stroller. Nope! Not My Child!

I did not offer my son apple chips with his chicken nuggets for dinner in hopes of tricking him into eating fruit. If I were, it might look something like this:

And if he were to have liked them, I wouldn't do it again within the same week. And if this were to happen, he would not call me on my deception by promptly throwing all chips to the floor for the doggies happy consumption. Nope! Not My Child!

And to throw a new twist on Not Me!

If the doggies were to have gotten a bag full of apple chips, then Payton, who does not have a history of eating off J's high chair seat, would not have jumped up - trying to figure out how to *clean* J's high chair seat - with him in it. Nope! Not My Dog! She is definitely better trained than that.

Nor would she see J & I happily napping on the couch together, and come over to lick J in the face disturbing the momentary peace that was being had in the house. Nope! Not My Dog! I've worked hard to train her to always let the baby sleep, and as a result, she always cooperates... Squirrels, rabbits, actually any wild life that may enter our window viewing site is actively disregarded & ignored when the baby is sleeping.

Lastly, I have to have one good one right?...

I did not give my son a bite of my plum, because even though it has a skin (read: choke hazard) on it, his interest in fruit won me over to try it. My son did not do so well with the first piece that I gave him a second piece. He would not have choked, because I would never have let him bite off a piece bigger than he could chew. Nope! Not My Child! I would not have stayed calm, having him in my arms while choking on this piece of plum. Leaning forward with him as his body dislodged the offending food. Letting him yak all over our hardwood floors. I would not try to get him to smile by saying... "Great job! You managed to not get any on us." This would not have thwarted the tears starting in his eyes...

And if this much drama were to have occurred, I would not give him a few minutes of drinking water & talking his talk to ensure all was well - only to throw him in his car seat & head off to the grocery store. Nope! Not me! I would spend the rest of the day babying my little boy.

If all this choking were to have happened, it would not upset my tummy so by lunchtime, when child was happily recovered and chowing on his oatmeal, I would not have skipped it until after he was down for his nap. Nope! Not Me! I'm way more calm, cool and collected than that....