Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Since June 2007, I've lost the ability to sleep.  It started out innocent enough.  Anytime I ate pizza sauce, I was sick.  Then I noticed, if I had a tomato on my hamburger or salad at lunch, I was sick.

Then, due to discomfort, I moved to the couch and achieved less sleep.  Kind friends whispered in my ear about this preparing me for the child I was carrying.

Then February 9, 2008 arrived, and wait - J was a great sleeper.

As long as the person watching him (I worked 2 days a week) ensured he napped, he would sleep like a champ.  You miss a scheduled nap & oh, you were screwed.  He would need to be held through the next round or 10 of naps to recover sleep loss.

Then teething and growth spurts and any other nonsense babies turning into toddlers are known to have, would interfere with our well honed schedule.

Seriously, schedules, smedules.  If I learned it, J changed it.

By the time J was 2 and I was back at work 4 days a week, seemingly humming along, I had developed a habit. 

A Diet Dew habit, to be exact.

So when J joined us in bed at 3, I found comfort in his being there & could sleep.  But now, that we have him back in his own bed.  And Mr. M being gone several nights a week (hopefully this will end soon), I've lost my ability to sleep.

Even on the rare weekend day that my alarm is not chasing me out of bed at 5, the dog will be crying to go outside.  And this is all after my not falling dead in bed after 10 or 11, possibly later if I get into a mood.  Either a book or catching up on TV.  Winding down.  Trying to catch an ounce of me time.

Heck, the night I went blondish, I didn't even think about starting till it was 9 pm.  Because everyone needs to start an hour project on a work night at 9 pm.  It truly makes so much sense.


I'm slowly starting to scale back my Dew consumption, but it is hard.  Part of it is habit.  Habits are comfort. 

And I'm feeling it.  My eyes are heavy by late day.  At night, I'm simply defeated. 

Too bad work doesn't offer an afternoon power nap.  I think it would help.

I think this is the hardest part about working.  Finding the balance between what I need for my health & what I need to survive.

Let's not even discuss working out.  Sigh... and Double Sigh...

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